Hip hugging Hipsters and Political Posers

I realize I am a failure at writing more than once a week (if that). I figure that I have to wait until I have at least one reader before I attempt consistency. Petty I know, but I’m writing this for the (future) glory that I may achieve in the blogosphere (I learned a new word!) not to better my soul.

This week: a continuation of DC University types:

Type 3: The Hipster

Hipsters can be both male and female. In fact the closer these individuals come to appearing androgynous the happier they become. Typical uniform is skinny jeans, camper shoes, T-shirt (white or from some previously unheard of band) and deceptively expensive sun glasses.

• Majors: Music, International Affairs (especially European Studies), Theater, Philosophy, Film
• Jobs: Hipsters will try to find an “out of the box” job in which they either (a) get dirty or (b) meet a lot of “creative” people or (c) can criticize the musical tastes of everyone else. You can find them commonly employed at the school’s radio station, the local record shop or and independent film league. Although they do not plan to be dependent on their parents for life, Hipsters are in denial and romanticize poverty and “realness” before paying $50 for the latest Elvis Costello gear. (NOTE: Elvis Costello may be too popular now to be considered hipster. Please forgive the reference from a non-Hipster)
• Hang-Outs: The local free-trade, all organic coffee bar (Starbucks is a big no-no)
• Night Life: Get buzzed off of Pabst. Argue with friends over the relevance of bands like the Mountaingoats. Trek across town to a basement show of a local band, which will be totally off-kilter and original. Come home to the nice side of town and complain about how bland life is.
• Bookbag: IPod, Macbook, philosophical light reading and extra pair of sunglasses.
• Class Behavior: Usually present in class. Hipsters are students who like to drop in obscure references no matter what the topic of conversation is. They tend to sit in the middle of class and make snarky comments either on the futileness of education or how the class has become hypnotized by consumerism.
• Typical Expression: Raised eyebrows and snarky grin.
  

Type 4: The Politician

This is a special breed to DC schools. The Politician will often introduce himself as the next president. He is unabashedly partisan and likely to be a leader of the university political clubs. In fact his position in the leadership of said clubs is a popular topic of conversation and measure of his importance.

• Majors: Political Science, Government, International Affairs, Prick 101
• Jobs: Anything less than Capitol Hill is usually unacceptable. Unpaid government internships are ok if from the big three (Department of State, Department of Defense, White House). Also, working for a lobbying group can be a possibility, but only after a Capitol Hill internship.
• Hang-Outs: Starbucks, student debate meetings, student council meetings (it’s not just for high school anymore)
• Night Life: Happy hour after/during work, which then migrates to the local bar (Hawk & Dove is a favorite and can always be trusted to be teeming with these (not real) Politicians).
• Bookbag: Blackberry (why anyone needs a blackberry and constant access to e-mail for a job/internship in which his primary task is fetching coffee and giving tours is beyond me), Mac computer, IPod
• Class Behavior: Avoid at all costs in the classroom. If said Politician is left leaning all problems discussed in class will be Bush’s fault. If Politician is right leaning all issues will be a conspiracy of the radical left agenda (including the one that permeates the university).
• Typical Expression: It’s too hard to read the expression of someone who’s always talking
  

Expect another post in the next couple of days to let you know about the Inauguration or Shit Show 2009 as I like to call it.

-C

Everybody loves a series of posts (and I don't have to come up with new ideas for awhile)

So – Second post ever in a blog I’ll never keep up I decided to go over the types of people you find in DC universities – having gone to two of them I think I have a pretty good grasp. Today we will go over a couple of key types. More to come….

Type 1: The (Insert Acronym Here) Princess

This girl can be found at any school, but the species tends to cluster at those with tuitions about 30K a year. Designer clothes, bags and shoes are especially important to these individuals as they tend to identify each other by these items. Big sunglasses are a must.
Majors: Communications, Psychology, Speech and Hearing Sciences, Generic pre-Law or pre-Med

• Jobs: Princesses do not work. For them money is a gift and it’s always from other people (usually Daddy). This belief extends to relationships and future marriages
• Hang-outs: Starbucks, Spas, and Sorority Houses
• Night Life: Going out to an expensive club in a mini dress (note: wardrobe for this activity does not change regardless of weather). Drunk dialing crush of the week and crying on the street if said crush does not respond.
• Bookbag: Designer bag with just enough room to fit a notebook and pen.
• Class Behavior: When these girls come to class they tend to sit with one or two of their kind, glare at anyone near them and flirt with the cute TA.
• Typical Expression: pout
  
  
  Type 2: The Frat Boy

These boys can be found at nearly every campus in the US. They have ranking amongst themselves and their fraternities that is dependant on campus, alcohol tolerance, girlfriend hotness and party popularity. Uniform is shorts and a t-shirt, preferably a polo of a pink or purple shade.

• Majors: Psychology, Political Science, Beer, Business
• Jobs: Like Princesses Frat Boys rarely have outside jobs, but some may take up a 10 hour a week internship under pressure from his advisor
• Hang-Outs: The house and designated frat bar.
• Night Life: Spend all day cleaning (read: stuffing shit in closets) for the party, picking up the keg, supervising the door to keep ugly chicks out, playing beer pong for an hour, dancing to songs like “Blinded by the Light” against girls (the younger the better), and either bringing conquest up to his room for the night or passing out on the dance floor. Regardless of outcome the reaction the next morning will be a consensus that the evening was “awesome.”
• Bookbag: Spare hat, notebooks from all weekly classes. ½ ton of loose pages half crumpled in the bottom.
• Class Behavior: Rarely to be sighted in class on anything but exam and paper days. However, if in class this boy will be seated in the back either asleep or playing games on a lap top.
• Typical Expression: Blank Stare or Smirk

Th-th-th-th-That's all Folks!